Snow White so many times looked in her mirror and asked "Who is the Fairest Of Them All?"I look in the mirror and sometimes just don't know what I see.
The above picture is so appropriate to me. I am not looking at the picture on the whole, but bits and pieces. Almost like a mosaic of me staring back. Sounds off...sure, but when you are in the business of "fixing" body parts to make the puzzle pieces go together, that is where you sometimes end up.
People say "you look great", "you're gonna do really well", or how much I have changed from last year. I look in the mirror and see... I have so much farther to go. And I might just want to give up before I get there! Oh, but I am so close. I must press on. I can do this! The ambivalence alone can be tiring!
Women, I think more so then men have this problem of looking in the mirror and not seeing the big picture or that the picture they see staring back is completely different then what other people looking at you see. We are harder on ourselves, and seem to really care more about the outside impression we cast onto others. So our struggles are real to us.
Today, this whole week really has been tough. Mentally, physically tough. My body is exhausted and sore, my mind is scattered.
Some outward stress in my life along with kids home from school for a few days has worn me out!
It has brought me some doubt about being ready for this show and my current "life" as a figure competitor", and fitness model.
As I push through this mini trial through, I ask God to give me His strength. Because I know "all things are possible through Him." He is my strength and my portion. He comforts, He protects and I pray that He is guiding my path on this journey. That all of this hard work will be pleasing to Him and have a greater purpose.
I also asked Him for a bit more focus at the gym today, but I think he was on his lunch break!
So, I trudged through. I pushed hard, I was happy with my end result at the gym. It wasn't perfect. I did not do my cardio because of time constraints, but I am not so worried. I can move it to another day, and I can give it to Jesus and say "remove my doubt, remove my frustration, remove my worry over not doing it all perfectly.
I did feel strong, I upped my anti with my pull ups strapping on 15lbs to my waist and holding my own!! One of the guys at the gym said my back looked like a mini Flex Wheeler! And since I really needed encouragement at the gym today... I took that as a compliment!
I will sleep well tonight, rest my sore body and be restored for tomorrow! A new day brings new dreams!
Lori your whole post just mirrors so many different things that women go through. I know here you are struggling with how you look. And let me tell you that you do look great, fantastic, but I do know that you are competing at a higher level than just Mom's meeting at the park with the kids. So the pressure is on you and you need to trust that you are doing all that you can and need to do.
ReplyDelete"All things are possible with Him" I Pray before each shoot that He will guide me and give me strength to do what I feel He wants me to. Keep going strong Lori you are doing great.